going for broke

no, i do not live a charmed life. i can’t afford to go backpacking across europe or visit the different countries of southeast asia on a whim. i do not have interesting photos of getting wasted in vietnam or running away from the bulls in spain. what i have are photos from several local destinations in the country. but i assure you, i’ve had to scrape the bottom of the barrel just to go on those trips. i can’t cry out to my parents for money. i’ve had to pay for all those trips by myself.

i do not lived a charmed life, i do not have friends who are socialites or friends who are part of the ‘it’ crowd. i’d say most of them are cut out from the same mold that i was taken from. there are a few exemptions of course, but they do not act like snobs nor do they have a superiority complex. some of them are on the way though, but i assure you, they’ve had to work hard for their success not like the priviledged denizens that crawl around clubs and bars.

no, i do not lived a charmed life. though it may seem like it to other people, i assure you that the priviledged crowd are looking down on me as a poseur, as a social climber. getting some of the things they have, but not all. well guess what, i’m not a social climber, i’m not a poseur. what i am is a greedy motherfucker and i sure as hell want it all. i want your life. your clothes. your condo. your car. your out of town trips. your stupid photos. i want to have my way with the world as you have. bleed it dry. all i’m asking for is a little bit of luck. a small window of opportunity. ’cause isn’t it enough that you already have everything and i don’t? isn’t it enough that i’ve been working my ass off just to have it all taken down the crapper by a mere turn of a card? bad beats. variance. i’m fucking sick of it. i want what you have. all i need is a little bit of luck. one day in the sun. you didn’t have to work for everything you have. i am putting in the time to get what i want. all i’m asking for is a little bit of luck. is it really too much?

i’ve had enough. all i’m saying is the variance should better swing in my favor soon. ’cause this time i’m going for broke.